We all have a hunger

I failed my final vet practical exam.

I’ll get that bit out of the way.

I passed everything else and am on track to qualifying in September rather than July now.

Results day was torture. It felt like I was being ripped apart. When you have looked forward to that day for over 6 years, and beyond that, well before university started it’s hard not to. I cried and I cried and I double-checked and I cried and I tried to find answers and I tried to find solutions.

Part of me didn’t mind. Part of me knew the feeling would pass, I would start working in my own time, I would become a vet just a month later than I had planned to. But that lack of choice, the lack of weight off your shoulders, the lack of celebration hurt, because I deserved to celebrate, deserved it all as much as any other student.

The overriding emotion for me was judgement which surprised me. I knew how people would react whether sympathetically or not, with good intentions or not and I didn’t want any of that. I felt well out of control.

People seem to judge a situation based on their opinions/views. I felt more upset because I could feel some of the other students so desperate to start work, to get a mortgage, to progress, to get as much money as possible and settle down would look down at me and my inability to get going, to do what they want to do. I could feel people counting the months I’d have to wait until my first piece of income, my first surgery, my first consult. That upset me most. Fed up of people looking down on me I suppose, not thinking I’m good enough, laughing at my ideas and suggestions. In my head everyone was saying they expected me to fail, the poor gay girl from a shit background and family who went to state school and got crap a-levels. No wonder she failed. It isn’t quite a rife as that at university but there’s an undercurrent of it.  And I’m not of minority race/ethnicity who do have a more visibly difficult time and I had/have to deal with that shit. There’s worse out there than I have had to deal with.

I felt resentful to all those who put me through the grief of telling me how worried they were that they would fail, telling how sick and anxious they felt and I who tried to calm them down and help and ended up absorbing some of their fear as well as my own was in fact the one that didn’t pass.

I went on Facebook for less than a minute. I only had about ten vet school friends all of whom passed and how they were celebrating. It made me choke and I started crying again. Not that I wasn’t happy for them, but I felt I should have been there with them. Maybe not being quite as boasty online but who knows, I’d like to think I woudn’t have lol.

I’ve spent this afternoon thinking about what I’d like, what I’d really really like;

I don’t want a mortgage, I don’t want to settle down. I don’t want to aim for another persons perception of success.

I’d like to be useful and I’d like to help. I’d like to live with Rosie and I’d like us to fumble through life happy but simply. I’d like to save so that we can do things, have some retirement money. I don’t care about things or houses or cars or clothes. I’d like to live the life I should have been living for the past six years but haven’t because of university. I’d like to enjoy the weekends, properly. I’d like to volunteer again, I’d like to meet people, I’d like to travel,I’d like to donate my time, not just money, I’d like to go for walks, I’d like to paint and I’d like to dance, I’d like to have my half finished paintings around our home, I’d like to write I’d like to smell the our fresh baking, I’d like the sound of having friends around for dinner.

I’d like to feel satisfied and happy and comfortable and excited about life again.

I’d like to help others to feel that too.

And I think the main thing I have taken from this is that It doesn’t matter that I didn’t pass in June. It wont matter if I don’t pass in September. There are so many other things I can do.

I’m not quite back to myself yet. It’s only been a couple of days after all. I still get irritated by little things and am still defensive and annoyed at my university. But that’s another story.

We all have a hunger. Each hunger is for something different. There are too many people in this world that are actually hungry.

I began writing the ‘I’d like’ as ‘I want’, but how greedy does it sound for someone in a privileged position saying they don’t want materialistic things, just happiness?  Ha. I will always be privileged even if not as privileged as others. I’ve always had some kind of opportunity.

I’m scared of losing myself. Of becoming someone different. I need a regular reminder of what I actually value and what I feel is success because it isn’t what society thinks and it isn’t what my friends think. I’m easily and subtley led astray by social media especially. For all it’s good points, it has a lot of negative. But I have a little buzzy feeling that once It all falls into place they will see how truly successful we have been, those that don’t stick to what we have been taught success is.

Stay positive,

Rebecca xx

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Loneliness

Hey,

Rosie’s been away into Japan for three days so far. Sounds like she’s having a great time!

IMG-20180406-WA0032

I’m struggling a bit with the hour difference. Japan is 8hrs ahead of the UK. By 3pm in the UK she’s pretty much in bed and asleep. I’m used to our evening phone calls before bed. Knowing that she wont be there to reply to my messages and send me more of her photos until I’m up the following morning, it makes me feel quite isolated and lonely. There’s too much time and too much to try and catch up with! It has surprised me, I thought I would deal with it better. I’m going to blame it slightly on the exams coming up and say I’m just more anxious and worried than normal… ish.

I was quite a lonely kid growing up. Not bullied and not without friends at all but I always felt different to those Ii knew, how ever much I loved them. I never really found anyone that I really connected with or even just a decent amount in common with. When Rosie’s away I realise how I haven’t felt that kind of loneliness really since we met, over 2 years ago now. I remember going to sleep at night and that feeling of an empty heart and the feeling that no one around you really understands or ‘gets’ you. I remember it really upsetting me at times. And I remember that feeling all through growing up. And I think that’s why Rosie means so much to me, though it’s difficult to explain it.

It was little things when I was younger. I was naturally quite a nerdy kid but one totally desperate to fit in and I actually found myself among the ‘cool’ kids for the first couple of years in secondary school. But I remember feeling (but not understanding it at the time) pretty unsatisfied and unhappy hanging around with those people and feeling like a bit of a fraud just going along with what others wanted and not really saying anything. I played up a lot around that point too, was regularly in trouble for being a nuisance and a distraction in class. I think I wanted to be liked.

When I decided that I wanted to be a vet, It really tuned things around for me. I was motivated and I needed to make time for myself for my grades to be better. I found myself leaning and wanting to sit closer to the quieter students. They in time (begrudgingly) became my friends.

Then A-levels in a way were better. I had a nice bunch of friends who were motivated and opinionated and liked reading and being nerdy. I can remember enjoying spending time during the break and lunch with them. But we never had enough really in common  to spend any time out of school with them. Or it was always complicated for  some reason. There was an obstacle. But they were a nice bunch. I’ve lost a lot of contact with them since going to university. Mostly my fault.

University was a bit disappointing in many ways. It wasn’t how I expected it to be Thought there would be more like-minded people. Naively thought everyone would be in it for the same reason and everyone would be out to save the world and make amazing discoveries haha.  Not quite. But I have made a great bunch of friends that I’m likely to stay in touch with for the future.

There’s a bit of controversy about the Myers-Briggs personality test. For me, It explained a lot. Although i don’t understand the science behind it and it can be used in ridiculous ways it does help one come to terms with different personalities and why there are different reactions to the same situations. So i’m apparently an INFJ. They are supposedly one of the more extroverted introverts. And even that helps me understand why I’m not great around louder extroverted people for a long amount of time. Because although i’m happy to chat to them and have a good time I feel uncomfortable explaining that I’d now like my own space for a bit. An INFJ is a character that is just a bit of everything and so isn’t quite much of anything.

https://introvertdear.com/ This is a beautiful website for introverts.

loneliness BibleI was going to use this image as my featured image. I can remember myself thinking this to myself some nights in bed when I let my mind wander. But not in a religious way, more an exasperation.

I’m pretty certain loneliness played a part in the depression I felt as an older teenager. There were other factors certainly but I think it has the power to overwhelm you and really decapitate you when you don’t expect it. I wasn’t confident in myself, I was hesitant to say things and give my opinion. (I was also pretty shy) but even among-st friends. When you’re the only one rooting for yourself it gets tough and I definitely doubted myself more.

And although I miss Rosie a little bit now, I know I mostly just wish I was there with her. I don’t feel lonely in the same way. Because in meeting Rosie It told me that actually I’m not an odd one out I had just been unfortunate to not meet people on my wavelength. It’s given me confidence that I don’t think I can quite appreciate. But to know there is someone out there that will likely back you in what you do and be a subtle cheerleader as you go along has changed me in so many ways. And I don’t think Rosie has seen the change in me, because I think it happened pretty much as soon as I met her.

I look back now and I think it must have been a matter of time before I did come across a group of people/ or one person that I got along with. I find it so weird to think I might not have met Rosie though. I don’t know where I would be if I hadn’t. If one of us hadn’t of swiped right 😉 And I’m sure I’ll meet others that I click with at some point. I’m also lucky I fell in love with Rosie too. Shooting two birds with one stone and all that. haha.

Loneliness is a horrible horrible situation to be in. It should never be taken lightly. And equally it’s so common too! I know when I went away to Scotland, Rosie really struggled for the first couple of weeks and I totally understand it now. I was so distracted by the vet practice I didn’t give her the normal kind of attention and time. It’s similar now. But I’m reminding myself it’s only because the internet connection is pretty crappy and she’s having a good time. You’d think you’d get used to be apart! Though being apart is okay, it’s the separating that’s the hardest bit.

I really feel and want to support the charities that help older people who have lost their loved ones and are lonely. And for those that are lonely, apart from getting yourself out there and giving yourself every opportunity to find people you can connect with i can’t think of much else to suggest! I also think, it’s very very easy to take for granted those you do have around you. They probably aren’t perfect and may do your nut in some of the time but if they have your interests in their interests that’s a good start! Xx

My plants! They’re starting to grow!

The lettuce and the Marigolds have ‘hatched’ from their little seeds and are great! Yay, nawww. I’m feeling very proud and excited xD

Rebecca x

New life!

I realized today that I’m actually going to be in one place enough to help mum grow some plants this year. Have spent Easter Sunday repotting, planting and walking the dog.. with nibbles of chocolate in between.

I love planting from seeds. And watching them grow. I love the whole process. When I was younger I used to measure the growth of seedlings and take photos and write a blog about it! I’m not sure I’ll go quite into that depth but I’m excited for the first little seedlings to arrive. When I think about it I feel almost powerful choosing to control life. Choosing which seeds I’m picking to use and the one seed that I dropped onto the floor! Sorry! It does make it all the more worthwhile when they grow and flower or you can harvest them later on in the year. It’s easy to get carried away! It would be amazing to be self sufficient one day. But one step at a time!

Mum and I decided we wouldn’t buy new seeds this year and only use what we already have. Turns out we have loads…

We wanted to grow lots of tomatoes this year and we already have five different packets! so we planted 4 different types of tomatoes. Also, marigolds, leeks, broccoli, carrots, cabbage, lettuce, beetroot, Parsley, Basil and Rocket! We’ll see!

On our walk with Drey another dog owner with a sprightly young labrador who was eager to meet Drey, said, the old dog doesn’t’ want to play with you. I was hurt! Ugh! Call my dog old! haha. He may have a grey face and sleep most of the day but he’s still not old 😉 he has lots of life in him yet.

Rebecca x

Developments.

Hey!

It’s late o’clock and I’m up and writing because I have been reading other blogs about India and I’m very excited. My flights are all booked for summer, accommodation sorted and the rest is in progress! I have been offered a great job and I feel like things are just getting started!

I can’t say I have been up to much. Exam season is starting and so even now I feel guilty writing this rather than studying. Meh, you gotta live!

I feel like my wanderlust has returned. It’s been in hiding for the past while because of all the terrible things happening in the world.

I discovered a number of Indian travel writers and have been reading about their journeys in India and elsewhere. It was interesting reading about experiences in the UK and great to get a more local opinion on areas in India.

http://www.shalusharma.com/10-books-to-read-before-travelling-to-india/

https://www.inditales.com/street-food-in-jaipur/

https://the-shooting-star.com/travels/india/

https://lakshmisharath.com/

http://www.arnabmaity.com/

I have an exam in about a week and a half. It’s a practical exam and there isn’t a huge amount I can do between now and then. So I’m working on mostly theory. However having had so much time on my feet in veterinary practices it’s v hard getting back into just book work and then also taking it all in. But we’re getting there.

After that, my written exams are in June. I have some extra lectures in between the two exams too.

I was offered a job at the first placement I did in this block of placements. I really enjoyed my time there and I sent my CV to one of the partners of the practice indicating my interest. I really advocate this kind of putting yourself forward. I wouldn’t have dreamt of such a thing not too long ago. But you can put yourself forward without being or coming across arrogant. A couple of weeks later once there was time for a discussion between partners I was offered the job! I was and am so excited.

I have since not signed anything as everything is being rewritten. It is now not exactly the job I thought it was going to be. I started off thinking I would be working with both large and pet animals. Taking this job means I’ll just be doing small (pretty much). I have done a lot of soul searching and I’m still trying to be as open as possible. But I think I have a gut feeling what the best thing for me is.

So we will see. But it’s v exciting.

If i take the job it’s a set in a beautiful part of Scotland. And for all the greatness of England, Scotland just does some things so much better and I love the idea of living there for some time.

India! I am booked for a month at a spay and neuter clinic in Jaipur and then Rosie is going to join me for a tourist spectacular 12 days around the golden triangle. It was a pretty difficult decision in the sense that I like to do things other than the just straight touristy stuff but I think for our first trip to India this makes most sense. And I’ll get to live amongst the locals in Jaipur for a month anyway! I never really appreciated how vast India is. One naively assumes that the golden triangle must give a good taste of India, when actually it doesn’t touch the surface. It’s exciting, but i definitely have the sense of want to see more and do everything. But of course, just means we’ll have to go back.

 

Yours excitedly,

Rebecca x

 

 

Sunday Morning

I’ll work on the doodles.. .

Sunday morning light through your window,

lying on your bed in a position to receive all of

it’s attention,

Lazy, sunny Sunday morning,

my favourite,

and you top and tailing,

with your tea hugged by your hands,

Sure I could hear birds singing,

the sun drew me out,

another park stroll? I nearly asked,

or a coffee like the Europeans?

But i didn’t ask, I didn’t want to share you,

not just yet,

and I closed my eyes and the sun on my face,

and I was happy,

confident successful, strong, determined and loved.

 

Rebecca x

 

Introverts and the QMH

An Article I have written for the university newspaper. QMH refers to the teaching hospital.

Believe it or not introverts hide among us at the RVC! And that is no bad thing.

We all know everyone is different; it’s been ingrained in us since primary school. How we learn and engage in particular, practically, visually, aurally, reflectively, sociably etc I could go on.

Introversion or extroversion is another broad spectrum that we all sit somewhere along and if rotations has taught me anything, it has shown me that we all deal with a long week in the QMH differently. But usually involving some form of alcohol.

I am an introvert but I’m not shy. Whereas I can talk to anyone, I don’t necessary feel the urge to. I’m happy not to talk and sometimes would prefer not to. Rotations are tiring regardless and I want nothing more than an hour to myself to recharge and refocus at the end of it. It’s not because I haven’t enjoyed myself. It’s that I have so many thoughts whirling through my head from the day’s escapades that I need a moment to breath and clear them. Then I’ll be fine again.

Extroverts, so the definition describes, are the opposite. They gain more energy being with people and so prefer to stay with people after a long and stressful day, they don’t necessarily need that break.

Most introverts hide well because they can be found in busy areas and cope totally fine in crowded and loud places on the condition that they know they’ll get a breather occasionally. Going to the bathroom for the second ‘wee’ in two hours is because those couple of minutes on the lav are beautiful. We focus our thoughts, think about what’s happened, decide who I want to chat to next, what will I eat and drink next, what time I’ll wake up in the morning etc it goes on.

Rotations have difficult but exciting. For the sneaky introverts out there I feel that we may have had it that much harder and I think that some small changes could make a big difference to the year without affecting extroverts or too much in general.

First of all, seminars in the morning: By three in the afternoon, after spending seven hours with lots of other people, being quizzed, running around trying to find the right people, the right patients, talking to stressed owners and trying to convince clinicians that I know what I’m talking about. The last thing I need is to then walk into a room to intensely discuss someone else’s case and what their next steps are going to be. I have too much of my own cases going on in my head to have any concentration or discussion left. Make the seminars in the morning. By the following morning I’ve had the previous evening to unwind, go through my own thoughts and sleep on them and plan for the morning. In the morning I’m yours and I’m happy to discuss a diarrheaing boxer for as long as is deemed necessary.

Second, create a quiet space in the QMH. This might be quite hard, I appreciate that. Everyone will agree with me that the student room is generally mental. Bags on seats, loud excitable students, computers buzzing, kettles going, microwaves pinging and phones ringing. There was one or two afternoons where I struggled and went to the library for an hour. It only takes for a stressful morning to need some time to recoup over lunch. I’m not suggesting a large room or a room with anything in particular in it. Maybe some desks, maybe some chairs, but an absolute must would be on the outside of the door, a sign that says “strictly quiet”. People could eat, people can be doing something on their phones but no talking. Or else, make it easier to go to somewhere quieter, like the library for 30 minutes. You may find that a room such as that will free up some of the toilets frequently inhabited by the secret introverts, as it is our only refuge in the QMH.

Third, quizzing and feedback: I particularly enjoyed tracking with the smaller groups and often one on one teaching. Personally, that suits me far better than big group teaching but that’s not the same for everyone so I wont suggest changing the current system. And without being totally negative, I do think over the year, I have become slightly more assertive. But too often I felt dread towards group sessions.

What was particularly difficult with the big group sessions is being pointed out to give an answer. There is no sure fire way of an introvert not giving you the answer you’re after than by pointing at their face a second after you have asked the question. Then to make it even better, only giving them five seconds to answer before moving to another person. You can make a bet that the minute the pointing finger gets directed elsewhere the answer comes straight to the mind of the introvert. But it’s too late.

It was disheartening after the first few rotation blocks to be told I need to be louder. I understood why yet I’m being told that my knowledge, communication and ability is fine, I just need to be louder. Why? It’s not me to be louder than other people. I’ll get what I want to say across and heard. Usually I’ll wait until other people have said what they want to. But my voice will be heard. And therefore I learned to ignore this comment, as I got more confident in my own ability.

Similarly I got warned with a cause for concern after the first week of a two-week rotation for not giving enough answers. Second week I was so on edge trying to force out answers and so aware that I was being watched and analyzed that I didn’t enjoy it and I don’t think I gained a huge amount.

Therefore, I suggest devising other ways such as spot tests, mock papers and one on one conversations. I know these are all more time consuming than a half hour session of who can shout out words the loudest and fastest but I think it would be a bit more of a rounded approach. Success seems to come from being loudest too often. Yet it just proves who the loudest is.

I often wonder if it is as hard for an extrovert to not say something when they want to as it is for an introvert to say something when they don’t want to?

Just a reminder that there are introverts out there and it’s not a bad thing to not be loud, we make up for it in our ability to listen, understand and reflect.

From,

a proud introvert.

UK farming part 1 : Calves

When I was on a placement in Dorset I became really engaged with farming. I visited some of the best farms in the UK and I also saw standard, average and below par ones. I really saw how different each farm is, met some really dedicated farmers and I want to write about what I know and see as a vet student and future vet.

So I’m going to write a series of blogs about different aspects of farming

My goals with farming is that I believe we should concentrate on the quality of production rather than the quantity. Humans don’t need dairy and meat to survive but I enjoy eating it and think as it’s not going to be stopped any time soon we might as well produce it in the best way possible. I want to stop mass production and bring it back to concentrating more on welfare and environment within farming. If we as consumers change our mindset to meat being a treat rather than taking it for advantage then we’d be prepared to pay more for it. Ideally, more money would go back to the farmers and they can spend more money per animal because they’re getting more for each animal and don’t have to produce so many or so much. It isn’t viable to keep producing at the rate we are. But actually if we shared it around better and only ate meat/dairy, say, once or twice a week then everything would be so much more manageable and hopefully fairer and better for all lives involved.

I don’t want producing as much as possible for as cheap as possible (because that’s what consumers are asking for) but producing a good all round product for the amount of money that it costs to do so.

So as a vet,

Welfare is most important to me. We also need to make sure that a farmer’s business is sustainable and viable for their animals sake and our business with the farmer. We have to find ways to make us useful that doesn’t necessarily mean us getting them to spend money on drugs. Especially antibiotics, we’re all driving away from using them. And the best way to avoid antibiotics is to prevent the disease in the first place. We’re being encouraged to actually use our time and knowledge more wisely. Spend an hour or two on a farm, look for areas that are great, look for areas that could improve or could be causing some of the problems that the farmer talks about.

The calf pens made a huge stir a couple of years ago.  There were  large calves in these pens. I was talking to the vets who knew the farm and they were gobsmacked. Ironically, they said, it was one of the best farms in the area.

http://www.itv.com/news/2017-03-28/heartbreaking-footage-of-calves-caged-in-pens-at-farm-which-supplies-milk-to-marks-spencer-is-released/

The farm in particular had had a recent positive reactor on it’s tb test. This means that the farm was essentially shut down because it has been found to have an animal that may or may not have tb. It is immediately not allowed to remove (sell on) or bring on to the farm any more animals. Therefore these calves were due to be sent to another farm for rearing. But they were no longer allowed to be moved for another 120days at least. (until the next tb test is 100% negative). The farmer wasn’t set up to keep these calves so had to make do. This was the only way he could keep them.

As vets we really like these calf pens. (but yes those calves do look pretty big for those pens) They mean calves can be by themselves while they are really young (and most vulnerable to catching infections) but still see and interact with other calves. Then when they’re older and stronger they can be moved into group pens. Being outside, it means they’re less likely to get respiratory problems and pneumonia which is very common when they’re kept In sheds with little ventilation. The small pen is easy to keep clean and it’s very easy to keep track of each calf and reduce the spread of infection. If one of the calves comes down it’s only a couple that are affected not 25 etc, like you might see being kept in a barn.

A well fed and healthy calf should thrive within this kind of housing. A good bed of hay in each hutch and they’ll easily be warm enough.

A great sign of a happy and healthy calf is when they jump and kick their legs out and run about. And actually, I’ve seen a lot of playful happy calves in these kind of hutches.

Calf hutch / individual / polyethylene / with yard

When calves get old enough to move into group pens they often go into a group of up to five so that they can still be monitored more easily for any health problems. The older and stronger they get the bigger the group they can go into essentially. I loved the farm photographed below. The calves here have collars on that have a specific chip for each calf. When the calf feels hungry it learns to go to the machine (not pictured) which will read the chip and the machine lets down it’s food quota. This way the farmer can see which animals are eating as expected, which need more and which aren’t eating as much as they should be. Those that aren’t can then be identified and checked out to make sure they aren’t becoming ill.

Each calf also had a temperature gauge on it’s ear ID. the thermometers work by reading the temperature of each calf every hour or so. If a calf’s temperature has been repeatedly too high for six hours or so, the thermometer light beams red which will notify the farmer to keep an eye on the calf. Usually the thermometer gauges the very early stages of an illness, so early in fact that there are no other symptoms and therefore we can’t treat the animal! or we just have to guess! But it’s fantastic for being prepared and being able to monitor each animal.

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There is quite a lot of controversy regarding calves and the separation from their mother after birth.

It’s a difficult one and most vets will generally weigh up their knowledge and experience and come up with an opinion. Personally, I don’t think it’s a huge deal taking a calf off of it’s mother within a day or two of being born. Having worked with the animals a lot. A calf will be happy and thrive if it is fed and has interaction with other animals. It’s not very natural I definitely agree but I could argue that it was justifiable. Some people argue that letting a calf stay with it’s mother for a week or two and then taking it away is better. But actually, they have had time to build up a bond, a routine and learned how to deal with the environment that includes each other. To suddenly take that away from the two, i think that could be crueler? But it’s controversial and very debatable. There is also quite a noticable lack of mothering qualities in milking cows. It is believed that they were bred like it. But a beef cow will generally fight off anyone threatening her and her calf yet a dairy cow, though they are generally less temperamental anyway, don’t put up any kind of a fight if you go in and take their calf.

The reason a calf is taken from it’s mother is so that the mother can start producing milk for the milk industry, rather than give it to her calf.

There are a lot of other reasons for why we take a calf away from it’s mother. Disease is a big reason. There are a number of diseases that spread from mother to calf. Milk and faeces are the main way they are spread. Johnes is a great example of a disease and It’s a life long disease in a cow. It’s pretty complicated and long winded but essentially the key to getting rid of the disease is the either kill every animal with it (which is usually high if it is present in the herd and not realistic to kill them all). Or we can stop the next generation from catching it and therefore over a number of years reduce the number of animals in the herd that have it.  Stop the calves from catching it and by the time they are adults they are less likely to catch it. but a calf that catches it off it’s mum will carry it for the rest of it’s life and never grow as well or be as productive or healthy.

Another reason why calves are taken from their mothers is to make sure that they get the right amount and quality of milk.

So, yes, we create a lot of the problems by farming intensively that we then have to solve. Because we ask cows to produce so much milk the quality (so the amount of fat and protein) can hugely vary. The amount can also vary too. Because of this we can’t control how much a calf will get. The first drink for a calf is the most important. The colostrum contains a huge amount of fat, protein and antibodies that will help the calf fight disease until it can develop its own. A calf that doesn’t get a decent amount will really struggle to get on in life, it will probably catch more diseases, probably not grow as well and just not thrive or live as long. And therefore to control the health of the calves, when there are so many calves around sometimes it’s easier to take on the full management and know exactly how much a calf is getting by feeding it directly yourself..

Calves for now

 

I love cows

There will be more to come

Rebecca x